You Forgot to Say 'May I'

In our optimistic innocence we actually believed that three months would be more than enough time for our contractor to complete the permit process. First, though, we needed permits for plumbing, electrical, building, fire, and a few other matters. Second, referring to it as a "process" isn't really accurate, since that implies that something is actually happening. I suppose some things did, but having one building official decide that whatever another one has approved isn't acceptable, having plan after plan rejected - only to have the first one submitted actually approved after three months, doesn't exactly shout 'good job.' Third, when you apply for any remodeling permits, the town takes that opportunity to make you change everything in your house it wants - even if you're not doing any work in that particular area - so you can bring your 48-year-old house up to 2009 code. For example, we were told that we needed to install wired smoke detectors in each bedroom, even though the addition is on the other side of the house. But we already have a wireless system, we said. But what are we going to do, move the house to another town? We could try to fight this, but they're the ones who issue the permits. So, more wires. But, after weeks of going back and forth - and this with a contractor who knows his way around - we were finally good to go in early March. So we thought.

Because the addition is going on the side of the house where all the utilities come in, we need to move the gas meter. This requires approval from the gas company who, like the town, finds this a terrific opportunity to require us to replace the entire gas line from the street to the house. Apparently, they do this to any homeowner who wants to change anything involving the gas line, whether it's needed or not. The official reason is because the gas lines could crack, which doesn't exactly speak well for all those houses that haven't changed the old lines. But that's their problem. Anyway, the gas company requires us to sign a letter authorizing them to change the line, which seems kind of silly since they're the ones forcing us to do this in the first place. Again, we're stuck - it's not as if we can take our business elsewhere. So we say sure, send us the letter. But, the department that sends the letter won't do it without an order for the work being processed, and the department that processes the work orders won't begin until they have the signed letter. Many irate phone calls from our contractor later, we get the friggin' letter. Humphrey Bogart had an easier time getting letters of transit out of Casablanca.

I must mention here that we were told about having to install a new gas line - which means digging a trench across the entire lawn from the street to the house - exactly one week after we had spent $1,100 having all of the valves for the sprinkler system moved because they were smack in the middle of where the addition would be going. Of course, the pipes for the sprinkler criss-cross the entire property, so now the sprinkler company will most likely have to make another costly trip. Oh well, as Shaw keeps reminding me it's only money. When you have it.