I think of the entire project as a performance piece, consisting of many individual players. Some days it strikes me as an orchestra, and because I'm so hands-on I envision myself as the conductor. Standing at the podium, baton in one hand, tap tap tap on the music stand. I suddenly point it in the direction of the plumbers, from whom I elicit a growing 'hissss' of blowtorches on pipes. Swiftly turning to the electricians who begin a percussive banging of wire staples as cables are run. Suddenly I swoop towards the carpenters who create a melodious crescendo of buzz-sawing lumber. Then, I face the tile installers who gently tap the flooring into place. All together it should create a flawless concerto as conducted by Bernstein or Fiedler.
Today I feel like Ernie Kovacs leading The Nairobi Trio.
It's Tuesday, July 7th. I've taken the day off because there are several things to oversee. The contractor has brought workers to move the living and dining room furniture into the trailer on the front lawn, and I want to make sure everything is handled carefully.
The plumber is here. All of the shower components have been installed, but it seems the toilets can't go in because nobody thought to measure them and the water lines are about two inches off from where they should be. So, the walls in both bathrooms need to be opened up in order to realign the pipes. The walls will then have to be spackled and painted before the toilets can go in. And, both bathroom sinks need different drains than the ones they came with.
The sprinkler guy arrives to repair the cut lines in the lawn. But, he can't do anything because the water main is turned off so the plumber can move the toilet connections. Without water the sprinkler guy can't test the lines, so he'll have to make another appointment.
The electrician comes to replace the light switch in the master bathroom that shorted out and also finish hooking up the lights in both bathrooms. But, since there isn't enough room in the bathrooms for him to work while the plumbers are there, he has to come back another day too.
The stair guy arrives to measure for the new foyer steps, but he can't get a true measurement until all of the furniture is taken out and that won't be done until the end of the day. So he'll have to reschedule.
The basement is being demolished, but the electrician needs to remove some of the wiring from the old walls before they can be taken down and he's already left for another job.
The HVAC crew comes to move the ductwork in the basement, but that can't be done until the old walls are completely removed.
The contractor starts measuring for the new kitchen window, but realizes he can't get a true measure until the kitchen guys take an exact measurement for the cabinets. And they won't be able to come until the following Monday.
I would stick my head in the oven but the gas has been turned off. This just isn't my day.
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